A short interlude about…

Shortness.  Relating mainly to clothing.  Also tightness or even transparency.  What is it with tourists not wearing enough clothes?!? Did no-one get the memo about conservative cultures?

My gob has been smacked more than once by people’s fashion choices whilst travelling in Asia – 1992 and the girl wearing dungarees and a bra wondering why the Aeroflot guy was talking to her tits the entire time – seriously? Get a top on!  I even got ‘told off’ at Mount Abu for having below knee-length shorts on.  Ankles on show?! Outrageous!

In Koh Samui wearing just your bikini to a restaurant seemed to be ok, according to some. Not to me, and it put me right off my tea.  Just because no one is telling you to put your t-shirt on doesn’t mean it’s acceptable. The girl in Koh Samui reminded me of the Russian babushka, as opposed to a Russian babe, wearing just a crochet string bikini wandering the stalls of Arambol, India, arse wobbling across the street without a care in the world. Men lined up just staring, either in horror or wonder, possibly both. Traumatic times…Since when has a thong been a thing to wear whilst browsing???

So here in Myanmar when travelling to Bagan, the NZ woman next to me a) committed fashion crime no. 1 by having the ubiquitious elephant print on her clothing, however b) she wasn’t wearing the loose fitting trousers you usually get the print on (I could have forgiven that, eventually), those hideous cheap troos found everywhere in SE Asia, no, she had gone one better and had on a short dress that skimmed her rather substantial arse and that was it. I say that was it, she also had black knickers on, I know that because when she bent over to sort out the bed I got a faceful. Thanks for that. Meanwhile, the boyfriend ‘Chinch’ (‘Chinch?’, ‘Trinch’, ‘Chinch?’, ‘Trincht’, turned out to be called Trent but he had the harshest NZ accent ever, which meant he swallowed most of the consonants as fast as he necked his 10beers in 3hours) was wearing those loose fitting sweatpant type shorts – the kind that make you fear that one sudden move and a bollock will fall out down a leg hole at any moment. It was a relief therefore to wake up in the morning to find that they had had to put all their clothes on in the night as it was so cold.  However it didn’t end there, hell no.

The next day, at the Oriental Ballooning breakfast pre-amble who are on the next table?  Why, what a delight, my fashion conscious Kiwi duo.  Being as we have to climb into balloon baskets she is of course wearing a short skirt.  The only person out of c120 people who thought ‘yay, today I’m going to go in a balloon and probably have to climb into a massive wicker basket, I know, I’ll wear this entirely inappropriate skirt’. Thank god I didn’t have to be party to watching that hoisting in and out of the basket – I think the ankle to arse cellulite and knicker flash action had been punishment enough.

Finally yesterday we stop to collect the fellow bus passengers and one girl, British, has seemingly opted to step out of her gym class and hop on the bus to Mandalay.  She was wearing sports tights, not leggings (they tend to be made of material that stretch but cover you up) for this material was more stretched (to the max) and like tights material, therefore see-through and thus this time I can tell you that she was wearing red knickers for her Mandalay trip.  Obviously if she’d decided to wear a long t-shirt to cover her fundiments it would have been ok, but no, it’s a bit warm here in Myanmar so it was just a vest top and her tits hanging out. I’m so proud of my fellow country people and fellow travellers.




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